Tales, Truths, & Tolerisms

 

 

Surely I can kick your ass because I am a fan of Chuck Liddell

So after my company softball team went on a hitting spree and scored 25 runs on the other team (ignore the fact the other team scored 21), we decided to have a post-game Margarita at a popular Mexican place here in Atlanta called El Azteca.  While we were enjoying our win, we noticed two guys ages 21 to 29, face to face, in a heated conversation with each other. While we were secretly hoping that those two tools would start swinging, we couldn’t help to notice the nice and shiny graphic tees both were wearing. We also had a good chuckle when one of them said something to the effect “Well I would just tap out”.  Since when do bar fights have referees?

So I found the Graphic Tee Fan Club on Facebook and a game that you should play everytime you see a graphic tee…

1) Determine % of shirt covered in graphics. This decimal value is your ‘graphic’ modifier. 

For instance, a value of .01 would be for your typical plain t-shirt with perhaps the logo of the clothing company on it. This shirt is very loosely qualified as a graphic tee and as such, not eligible for consideration as an ultimate graphic tee. 

A value of 1.00 would signify a t-shirt completely covered in graphics (this however, is not physically possible in this reality, for if it did, our universe would collapse in on itself and we would cease to exist)

2) Skulls: Add up the number of skulls present on the graphic tee. 0-5 skulls scores 1 point, 6-10 skulls scores 2 points, 11-15 skulls scores 4 points, and more than 16 skulls scores a whopping 8 points (unheard of!).

3) Animals: If there is a bird present, score the following for each bird: 1 points for a raven/crow, 2 points for an eagle, 3 points for a mythical bird, for example a griffin or phoenix. If it is a mammal, score the following for each: 1 point for a dog, 2 points for a horse/bull/bear, 5 points for a skeleton dog/horse/bull/bear.

4) UFC: Subtract 5 points for any UFC fighter’s name present on the shirt. Drinking a 12-pack and wrestling in your living room with your buddies after UFC 91 doesn’t make you Randy Couture, it just makes you gay.

5) Biblical: Add 2 points for the Grim Reaper or any other devils. Subtract 2 points for any angels…unless they are badass angels.

6) Rivets: If the tee has metal rivets on it, you get two bonus points + a free high-five

7) Reflective Lettering/Graphics: If any part of the graphic tee has shiny lettering and/or graphics, subtract 1 point, unless you wear your graphic tee while jogging at night and need it for safety sake.

In summary:
(Skull + Animal- UFC penalty + Biblical + Rivet Bonus – Reflective Penalty) X Graphic Modifier = AWESOME GRAPHIC TEE SCORE

So, I was driving into work today and I saw another Chik-Fil-A billboard that had the whole “Eat Mor Chiken” bit on it painted with cows. I know Chik-Fil-A is a family friendly company who probably doesn’t want to make any waves but honestly how long are they gonna stick with this whole cow thing? It really isn’t clever anymore and for the most part could be classified as corny, hokey, and unoriginal.  In all honesty, I can just imagine that Truett Cathy read one of “The Far Side” books and said…ok this will be our ad campaign. Fast forward 10 years later, some lackey is telling him that the “Cowz” are still a hit and thats why people come to Chik-Fil-A…

(Let it be known I go to Chik-Fil-A because of its better tasting food and superior customer service)

Eat Mor Chikin

So during my time at Autotrader, my co-workers and myself were guilty of using the terms Modal Window, Pop-Up, and Layer interchangeably do describe something that displayed to a user in a dialog box fashion.

Yesterday, a co-worker of mine was kind enough to point out that my requirement of “the system shall display a Modal Window” was totally incorrect because I was butchering the true meaning of the word. So needless to say I did what most people would do…I went to Wikipedia…

Modal Window – “a modal window is a child window that requires the user to interact with it before they can return to operating the parent application, thus preventing the workflow on the application main window.”

Pop-Up – A context menu (also called contextual, shortcut, and popup or pop-up menu) is a menu in a graphical user interface (GUI) that appears upon user interaction, such as a right mouse click. A context menu offers a limited set of choices that are available in the current state, or context, of the operating system or application.