Lets Play The Blame Game
If there is one thing that I learned from both growing up and working, its that results matter…and everything else is just additional info. I had a boss who once told me that someone’s detrimental actions were not my fault, but since I was the project lead, it still was my fault because I let it happen on my watch. In addition, once a mistake or negative action has happened, you learn from it, and move on. In my mind, thats what a winner’s mentality is. You haven’t forgotten the teacher’s lesson, you simply have forgotten the math problems.
I think the same thing can be said about relationships as well. When I was younger, I would blame many of my actions or attitudes on various bad experiences I had in the past. When in reality, my actions, attitudes, and emotions were really only owned and controlled by me. Sure previous stimulii can influence future behavior, but in reality, the actual control of oneself is what makes us alive right? The concept of Free Will seems to be part of American Culture that is ingrained in almost every marketing message on television. (i.e Just Do It)
I guess in some way, Popular Culture has convinced us that we ourselves are not to blame for our own shortcomings. Parents, Neighborhoods, Status, and Ex- Boyfriends / Girlfriends/Spouses are to blame for us being unhappy, or unable to think positve thoughts or maintain positive relationships. Don’t get me wrong, I understand the concept of chemical inbalances, behavior disorders, etc, but at some point, when we think about who is responsible for the direction that we are going in life, or how we have reacted to our previous mistakes or misfortunes, I think the only being that can be found is the one in the mirror.
